Functional Solutions For Living

Hi everyone! It is great to be back and back on track with a new post. If you have been following the last post you know that things got a little crazy.

Admittedly, I made a mistake in my initial response to a comment by one of our readers who calls herself Yoga Girl and let’s just say she got a little upset and let the venom fly! If she was one of those spitting Cobras, I’d be blind!

Some say she was a plant (not the potted variety or the kind you find in your garden) or a disgruntled (Disgruntled. Sounds like a term used for someone who was fired!) ex-girlfriend on the warpath. When I tried to email her via the address she used in the comment box, it came back as a false address. I commented back to her in the blog and she never responded.

I guess we’ll never know for sure…

Her comments were scathing and definitely way off.  However, I believe there is some “truth” to be found in any situation.  I considered her words carefully, and although I don’t agree and my friends and people I work with do not either (this has been a fun topic with my clients, friends and the people I volunteer with! They think it is hilarious because they know me and work with me.), she made me think.

One thing she suggested was that I share some of my life stories and how I am changing for the better.  I can do that and have done that in the past.

Today, at the request of more than a few people, I would like to address some of her comments.

Here is a portion of Yoga Girls vitriolic analysis:
“1) You quote books that you have read, because you yourself are afflicted. You quoted this…because it applies to you:
“On the other hand, people with low self-esteem . . .
* Frequently dislike others.
* Expect that other people will dislike and reject them..
* Have trouble performing under pressure, and find it hard to work in demanding environments.
* Are more vulnerable to negative comments and reactions from others.”

Let’s stop there for a moment… The reason I quoted that book is because I am working with a great company called the Hypnosis Network and wanted to, on occasion, promote their products! I was looking into introducing my readers to some of their very helpful products and used a blog to do so.

It is a product by Dr. Shirley McNeal that helps with self-esteem and forgive me if I am out of line, thought it might be relevant to talk about self-esteem in endorsing the product! It has nothing to do with me being afflicted. It has to do, point blank with helping and empowering others and trying to pay some bill in the process. Most of the work I do is for free but at the end of the day I have to have a place to live, put gas in my car and feed my imaginary child (Yoga Girl questioned whether or not I really had a child).

It really is that simple!

Moving on…

I do not frequently hate others. Never have and never will.

I do not expect others to dislike and reject me. But I do know from experience that it is impossible for anyone to resonate positively with everyone. God, Jesus, Marin Luther King, Buddha, and my neighbor Dave (who is the nicest guy you’ll ever meet) can’t even pull that one off!

She also says:
“Your posts scream of underlying hate (point 1).”

How so? I have frequently noticed that people who have repressed their own hate/anger often see it in people, places and moments in which it does not exist. Some food for thought.

“You changed your blog b/c of points 2 and 4.”

I changed my blog because I frequently change my blogs. I write quite a bit and do much of it late at night and in a hurry. I have much to do and often don’t manage my time and attention as well as I could and would like to. I often tweak them because I can admittedly be too detail oriented and am usually not satisfied with them in some way. Sometimes I just think they suck and try to fix them!

“Your job is blogging because of point 3.”

My job is not blogging but it is part of what I do. If my job was blogging I would be starving! As far as being able to perform under pressure or in demanding environments goes, I thrive. I love challenges and for some reason do better when I am under the gun, so to speak. I love being on stage and performing and have no problem speaking in front of people.

Sorry, you missed the mark on that one.

Then she writes:
“2) You appear very unhealthy on You-tube. No.t like someone to take nutrition advice from, or buy products from.”

I guess that is a matter of opinion. How good do I have to look to be taken seriously by you? Do I need to look like Brad Pitt? I think I look pretty pail in the brainwave video, but that was a matter of lighting and me not having experience with making videos. I had to start somewhere and agree that it is not the most flattering or informative video. Do I look that bad to you in the other videos? I am not the best looking guy in the world, but my goodness…play nice! Most people have told me the opposite but you are entitled to your opinion. What do you look like? Do you think it would matter to me?

Next, she writes:
“3) In my opinion, you should not be teaching or “coaching”. Your blogs show so much anxiety and animosity and teach people very little. People would learn more from you if you told them how you are overcoming your own demons. You are far from spiritual, my friend. And what you try to disguise as confidence in your teaching, comes off sounding like retort from a bullied child who is trying to stand up for himself.”

Yikes! Sorry if you see so much animosity and anxiety in my blogs.   Have you ever considered that much of this is your own stuff and that you are seeing your own animosity. Others see humor, honesty, questioning, love, firmness and any number of things that have nothing to do with animosity or anxiety.

I know that I can often be a little blunt and swear on occasion but that is done with humor and love and for the wake up effect that it can often have. That is how one of my Zen teachers used to get through to me and I have also found that effective in the past.

JJ Jalopy made a good point when he said that the written word often comes across in ways it was not intended to some people. I think he is right and would also add that it is mainly the filtering mechanism in people’s brains that does the misunderstanding. It is more a matter of their unconscious beliefs, values, their level of stress, or even what they had to eat and other environmental factors that dictate their responses to everything.

Besides, how is a blog about gratitude or playing the game Uno with my son filled with animosity and anxiety.

As far as disguised confidence goes, how do I do that? I am a confident person by nature. I will talk to anyone and feel very comfortable in my skin. I will confess that in the past I have struggled with confusing confidence with arrogance or cockiness.  But serious injury, illness and some very poor choices saw to it that I was humbled. I am fortunate to be alive, walking, talking, laughing, loving and halfway sane.  I give thanks every day and try to live my life as an extension of gratitude.  Not that I don’t have my moments…I definitely do!

Finally, she writes:
“A better approach would be to write about your life stories and how you are changing for the better, not to pretend to be a “Holistic Health” Master. What are your credentials? I was looking for them last week so I could quote you in my footnotes, and I found nothing. Do you have any?
But, I want to thank you. My time on your blog has not been in vain. You make an interesting research subject.”

I agree that it would be useful not necessarily better to talk about my life stories and how I have changed and am changing for the better. I have shared much in the past and am very open about my life and my struggles.

I have a sneaking suspicion however, that if I did write about myself you would judge me for that and slap another label on me! Maybe not.

Also, I am not pretending to be anything.  Well sometimes with my girlfriend I pretend to be an astronaut, a pirate, the  UPS man or the pizza delivery guy but that is just for fun and between me, her and our pet monkey who also doubles as our camera man.  I also see that you put the term “holistic health” master as if that is what I call myself. I don’t recall ever referring to myself in that regard.

With love and affection and for fun, JJ Jalopy referred to me as a “health-nutrition-and-all-around-Zen master-rock star.” I thought that was catchy and fun, but don’t really think that way about myself. I actually have a hard time with labels but on occasion have to call myself something other than Anthony or “nobody,” which is actually more fitting and conducive to keeping me humble.

As far as my credentials go:
My qualifications are my life experiences, years of practice, much study and awesome teachers. Education-wise, I studied psychology at Penn State and am currently in the process of becoming a certified clinical nutritionist. I have studied alternative medicine and nutrition since my teens and have done nutritional/herbal/supplement consulting for nearly twenty years, both professionally and for friends and family.

I have survived severe illness, severe childhood abuse and other things that would blow your mind. And to free myself from that I have done a tremendous amount of inner work. I am still not perfect or immune to my past conditioning.  I love looking deeply within and make sure to bring my biggest problems to one of my teachers who is an amazingly wise woman, a long time yoga practitioner and a person who has been a meditator and practicing Jungian/Gestalt psychologist for over thirty years.  I have also done extensive EMDR work and usually refer clients to an EMDR therapist because it is so amazingly effective in releasing people from their “demons,” freeing them up to live and authentic and joyful life.  It is also great for athletic, success and performance enhancement. (Yes, That was a shameless plug for EMDR.)

I know about food allergies, CFS, head injuries, spinal injuries, Celiac’s disease, environmental sensitivities and other health related things because I have lived them. I went from racing mountain bikes and being fit enough to do a triathlon to being barely able to walk and back again (Almost! I am 40 now. lol.) I am a meticulous researcher and scientist who gives his all to whomever and whatever I focus on. I healed myself when my doctors could not and told me to go home and just accept and adjust.

I hope this sheds some light on who I really am, why it is I do what I do, what it is I know and whatever else you get out of this.

I would also adivise you to look into what it is that made you so reactive.  This really can’t be about me, my blog or my careless response to one of your comments.  You really seem like the angry one because, judging from your comments you are cut off from your own anger and see it in the people and world around you.  Maybe I am wrong.  If I am I apologize.

I really think you just need a hug Yoga Girl.   And with a cute name like that I would love to give you one.

I hope that some day you can forgive me and see past your anger to the real me!  Despite your vitriolic remonstrances, you sound like an awesome woman with a sharp mind.  I wish you well with your research project and your life in general.

For any of you who are curious about EMDR, you can click here to learn more.  It has transformed my life and the lives of many others quickly, permanently and in ways almost impossible to comprehend.  This is the official website and the best resource for information.  For the record, I have no affiliation with them.  I just want as many people to know about EMDR as possible because it changes lives for the better.  The research on it is impressive as well and confirms what therapists and people who have experienced it know, which is that it works well and it works fast.

For any of you who are interested in They Hypnosis Network or their amazing products you can click here to learn more.  They are a great company that I do have an arrangement with.

I think for the next few posts, we will tone things down a bit and talk about superfoods!

Until next time…

Kind Regards,

Anthony