I heard someone speaking the other day and he mentioned being spiritual. Now normally, that statement would not have even elicited the raising of one eyebrow, but in this case it was a two eyebrow raise because he also used the word authentic.
For some reason as soon as he said that, it became evident that he could not be authentic and spiritual at the same time.
The reason I say this is because he clearly had a specific idea, an image if you will, of what it was to be spiritual and it was very, very conceptual.
This guy is not alone. I think a great number of us are keeping him company.
That mental imagery may consist of being peaceful, kind and compassionate. Of Being calm, balanced and generous. It may invoke images of religious figures, spiritual teachers, of historical figures both past and present. Whatever it may be, we have a certain conceptual framework of what it is like to be spiritual.
I wanted to ask this man if he thought being angry was spiritual, if being really, really horny was spiritual, if wanting to smoke a joint or get really rip roaring drunk at a loud rock concert was spiritual, if seeing a beautiful woman and having wishfulsinful thoughts was spiritual, if wanting the big piece or the last piece of cake was spiritual.
I wanted to ask him if thinking someone was an asshole and not liking them was spiritual. If wanting to tell your lover once and for all, “Yes, your ass looks big in those pants. You’ve definitely put on some weight but I still love you, want you and think your sexy as hell!”, was spiritual.
Please don’t do that by the way unless you want to injure your intimacy and set your sex life way, way back!
I am not condoning being hurtful. I am merely illustrating a point in humorous and practical way.
Being authentic requires being authentic and often drastically conflicts with our visions of being spiritual.
Conforming and submitting to our ideals of spirituality often requires a high measure of inauthenticity (I know that is not a real word but not using it would be inauthentic), which we would say is definitely not spiritual.
If you feel angry then feel angry. Hear its song. Get to know it intimately. Dance with it!
I want to make it clear however, that I am not suggesting we act our anger out or say that hurtful thing to another because it is the “truth.”
The spiritual person however will often reject anger, lust, etc or dilute it to the point of being unrecognizable because it is not “good” or “right” or “kind” or “skillful” or…you get the point.
The problem with this is that they are suppressing that which is arising in the moment, the only time that is real, and sedating themselves. They are being highly inauthentic and depriving themselves of the nourishment that life is providing them. If you allow your lust, or your anger or whatever is arising in the moment to be and allow yourself to be with it, you are nourished by it. It becomes integrated and non-problematic. It becomes something very spiritual, something very special, something very ordinary and uncomplicated.
It becomes the truth.
But herein lies the problem.
Although we say we want to be true to ourselves and want truth in our lives, we are usually not willing to live and be in ways that support it.
Truth is (no pun intended), we don’t like the truth. It is not always pleasant and we want to feel good. We want to feel good now! We don’t want to be uncomfortable, even for a moment.
So what do we do? We do anything and everything we can to avoid it. We subvert ourselves and drive ourselves insane. Then we take medications or party or buy things or become driven or set up any number of traps that ensnare our happiness.
When we reject what is arising in the moment, we force it to go underground. And when we do that it takes on a life of it’s own. It will be heard no matter what you do, but when it resurfaces it will be unrecognizable and seemingly coming from everywhere. Everywhere but where it is really coming from…you!
So really, even though we would say that being authentic is a big part of being spiritual, there is much incongruity between the two as we practice them in moment to moment life.
What is the moral of this story? I don’t know.
Well, yes I do know. I was trying to be nice (fake spiritual) and show idiot compassion. I was not being authentic. See, I am not immune to it either!
The moral of this story is that if you run around calling yourself spiritual you are probably filled with lots of unresolved unconscious material that you put there by being inauthentic.
We are all full of shit to a greater or lesser extent, and that waxes and wanes from moment to moment. Authenticity involves owning what is arising in every moment in a skillful way, in a “spiritual” way if you want to call it that, and not denying or diluting it.
When we do this we grow. We are nourished and not caught in time. We are much more free to be ourselves and to connect with others as our true self, which will make the world a better place. People will sense our ease and in turn be much more likely to open up and awaken to their true self when they are in our presence. We become healers in a sense. We become messengers.
Until next time…
Kind Regards,
A
Cindy
Lisa McLellan
Anthony
Darryl Pace
Keri Eagan
Vegas Boomer Dating Expert
Vicki
Michael D Walker
Peggy Larson
Anthony,
Your post reminds me 2 stories:
1. Someone went to see a therapist to seek guidance. The therapist told him that it’s OK to express one’s true feelings. Because when you released it out rather than containing it within yourself, you will be free that emotions or urge.
That person said, “You know what, I felt rage within me now & I really want to hit someone. May I give you a bash now?”
The therapist yelled out, “No, you should control yourself! You can’t hit me!”
2. In a village, there’s a young boy got caught in telling a lie. The wise man told him, “Hey young man, you should always speak the truth and facts, do NOT tell lies.”
After a week, the boy suddenly found himself without friends and sought the teachings of the wise man.
The wise man asked,” What have you done in the past week that landed you in such a predicament?”
The boy answered, “I followed your advice of speaking the truth and telling the facts only instead of lies. Now, no one wants me to be their friends.”
Moral of the stories?
There is a balance somewhere and discretion is warranted. But them, that is where confusion starts also.
John Ho
Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personality for Better Influence & Persuasion (WordPress Blog)
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Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personality for Better Influence & Persuasion (Money Page)
A very delicate dance indeed. Please let me know if I smell!
I know this to be true. I often have conflict with what is arising because it does not feel good or nice and frankly, I don’t like to feel that way. What I have found, is that when I repress these things they do have a way of revisiting and when they do they become troublesome.
Regards,
Karen
This is a tough one my friend. It is hard to be with what arises when you don’t like it. But you are right…if we don’t allow it we are being disingenuous or “inauthentic” as you put it.
I know you do the nutrition/wellness counseling and other things but do you also teach meditation? I don’t remember! I know you have been sitting a long time. You should consider teaching it at least on a limited basis.
I have been around for a while and think you have a gift with this stuff. You don’t need to be a monk or a shrink or some kind of guru to make this stuff make sense. You need to have a serious practice, some humility and an ease about yourself. You have it all and from listening to your audios and seeing you on YouTube know you are a genuinely relaxed dude who is comfortable in his own skin. Just my two cents. We need people like you to teach this stuff.
There are too many guru, self-help and psychologist types out there teaching this stuff who don’t make nearly as much sense as you do. And you talk like a real person, a guy I could hang out with and have a beer! Don’t underestimate yourself!
Joe
DUDE!
That was crazy awesome.
I think that’s the best thing you’ve written.
Joseph above me is right. You have a real gift for this. In some way this post reminds me of that Mykonos dude from one of David Deida’s books. Except that David Deida’s writing is horribly stodgy – and yours rocks.
Reading this excited me so much I’m going to listen to some Motorhead. Rock on dude.
JJ
Starting a Coaching Home Business
Anthony,
Deep post. Feeling completely comfortable with who we are is an on-going challenge.
Health, Fitness — Darryl Pace
Fitness Product Review
Anthony,
This is some cool stuff. I like your style and will be back.
Dev
HI Anthony,
That was deeply spiritual and authentic at the same time! I like the way you write, its authentically you and fits who you are from the little I know
Awesome stuff
Duane
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I will never be truly authentic. My mother used to always say “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I still live by these words. I was an ugly little kid, so I was tormented by other children all the time. Words can be very hurtful, so if they might cause someone pain, I try to keep them to myself because I know how bad they can make you feel.
Lisa McLellan, Babysitting Services – Babysitters, Nannies, and Au-pairs
Lisa,
Being authentic does not entail saying and doing mean things. I was careful to make that point in my post. You can live authentically and be kind at the same time. I think you are authentic! You would not have been invited to the 4th grade author thing by that little girl if you weren’t!
Anthony
I would say that being spiritual is thinking and acting from a perspective of Love, Abundance Mentality, Beauty, Kindness, forgiveness.
In that there doesn’t seem to be room for anger, lust etc. If you (not you Anthony) are anger and lust then you are not spiritual.
The better question may be what is authentic and if you as authentic is anger and lust then you are not spiritual.
my two pennies.
Bob Kaufer
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Words are powerful tools – Our tongue can be a debilitating weapon.
Pam
Invest in Your Future
Hi Anthony,
you are so right on target. Often when we are talking about our spiritual selves, what we really mean and are communicating is how uncomfortable we are with our physical human being self. ALL of it is there within us. Celebrate who we are as a WHOLE human being, including our spiritual selves. Sometimes when there is raging internal anger, we have incomplete grief, unresolved pains… and don’t know anything DIFFERENT about what to DO with that.
Best regards,
April Braswell
Single Boomer Dating Expert, Relationship Success Coach
Widow Support and Bereavement Counseling Outreach Workshop Orange County, Newport Beach, Huntington Beach, CA
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