Many people struggle with certain areas of their lives. Even more struggle with life in general. How do they do that?
Notice that I didn’t ask why?
In the midst of our often hectic and seemingly frustrating lives (or for the more self-aware, seemingly hectic and frustrating moments) we often, sometimes habitually, find ourselves asking many “why” questions. We wonder why we do what we do. We wonder why others do what they do. We wonder why things are the way they are. We wonder why we are getting what we are getting. We wonder why we feel the way we feel and think the way we think.
WHY, WHY, WHY!
Please don’t misunderstand. I am not lashing out at or rejecting genuine curiosity. How else would we understand many of the infinite mysteries of the universe. But eventually, if you want to make progress, you must get to the question of HOW. Einstein may have started out asking “why”, but to formulate the Theory of Relativity, and to present it to the world, he eventually had to ask “how” questions.
If we want to get something different or to feel different, if we want to be different, we have to “do” different. That seems like common sense, but how (pun intended) do we do it.
The first thing we must do is realize that we are creating what we are getting and experiencing in life. Don’t misunderstand, this is NOT, I repeat, NOT about blame. IT IS ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY.
If you are broke, lonely, unsatisfied, anxious, in a relationship that doesn’t work or just uncomfortable in general, you have to realize that you are, in some unintentional and other-than-conscious way, creating that. Call it running on auto-pilot. You may not know how you are doing it but there is something going on internally that is making it happen.
You can sit around, wonder why and come up with some insightful and intricate stories and theories that over time can become downright exquisite, even impressive. You could probably write one hell of a book with your brilliant discoveries. However, that in and of itself is not conducive to creating change. At least not expedited, deep and lasting change. It ends up being an ego reinforcing exercise that just distracts you from leaving your comfort zone. It is just that other-than-conscious, dysfunctional part of you buying time until it can figure out another way to hijack your best intentions and keep you in your, and this is the insane part, comfort zone which is giving birth to your discomfort. The Buddhists have a word for it. They call it samsara. It is just a never ending cycle of dissatisfaction that sustains and perpetuates itself. Yikes!
So your job is to see How you are doing this. Watch yourelf. How do you do being broke? How do you do being angry? How do you do being lonely? How do you do being in an abusive relationship when you know you can do better? How do you do overindulging when you know what the after effects are going to be? How do you take the dead end path when you know where it leads? How do you do ____? HOW, HOW, HOW!!! Okay, you get the point!
In order to do this you have to look within. REALLY look within. This is not usually pretty or easy or fun at first, but with the right attitude it can be an exciting adventure. Think of it as a treasure hunt with the REAL you, the AUTHENTIC you being the treasure.
Well that is the end of today’s transmission. Happy hunting and stay tuned for more. Also, please take this to heart because it comes directly from my heart via the hearts of the many amazing teachers I’ve had and have in my life. Until next time…
Kind Regards,
Anthony
Cindy
Lisa McLellan
Anthony
Darryl Pace
Keri Eagan
Vegas Boomer Dating Expert
Michael D Walker
Vicki
Peggy Larson
You hit home with this one. When I work with my clients and finding out what they know all they know and yet don’t change, we talk about secondary gain or the benefits of staying right where you are.
When you can fulfill the needs of the secondary gain, whether it’s safety, avoidance, self-punishment, etc., in a healthier way, then you have a chance to change.
It’s why i went from straight “talk”therapy to using hypnotherapy. It allows for a way to change and not just understand what’s wrong.
Jen B
The Harwood Center – Tinnitus, Chronic Illness, Fers, Phobias, and Anxiety
Knowing, rarely an option an option in any case, does not move us forward. Knowing how can. Good post.
Christian Haller
http://www.christianhalleronline.com
AWESOME!
Now you’re really going!
You knocked that one out of the park Anthony!
Good to have you tearing up the blogosphere. You’re gonna have a great time!
JJ Jalopy.
Life Coaching and Home Business Advice with JJ Jalopy
Anthony,
Great blog.
Live the moment. Be in the moment. Be in control of the moment.
Lynn Lane
http://www.Warriorofsuccess.com
I really like this post Anthony. “Watch yourself” is excellent advice. Awareness is the first step to positive change.
All the best,
Yann
looking forward to more information from you Anthony…
Seize the Day,
Rob
Sales Eagles Soar Above the Competition!
Personal Asset Protection For Small Business Owners
Get your picture up there, too , so we can get to know you…you have some excellent ideas.
SunnyMarie
http://www.sunnymarie.wordpress.com
Anthony,
Great first post on this blogsite. I am looking forward to more ech day.
Bob Kaufer
Z Health For Life
Yes, I always want to know “why” no matter what the subject. Great post. Looking forward to more.
good first post. looking forward to many more.
Don Shepherd
oregon or bust
Well said, I think for the most part people don’t realize the power they have at their disposal
Thanks
JC href=”jc
Yeh great stuff…
David Power
Expert in Hypnosis, Success Thinking and Practical Parenting
David Power’s Hour
Asking someone, myself included, HOW? stops the brain train from running on the why, why why track. Asking myself how do I do … turns the finger of responsibility right back on me.
Sounds like we’re in for some good mindtingling blogs from you.
-Pat
Business Owners Fast Track to Internet Profits
Good point that people have to take responsibility for their actions and change their ways if they want to change their life. Groundhog Day was a great movie about the subject. Mark
Marketingscoops
GlacierIceCream
Hey Anthony,
Awesome first post!
When you ask how can it be done…you open up the mind to what’s possible and the ideas start to flow!
Keep them comin
Duane
Discover Secret Persuasion
Techniques that Work Like Magic by Tapping Into the Psychology of
the Mind with The Persuasion Expert Duane Cunningham!
Hey Anthony,
Great post!
Looks like you’re talking just like me
)
Free Will Vs Destiny is one of my favorite topics.
We simply create our destiny with our free will. Due to forgetfulness over time & crossing over different life times, we wonder WHY things happen out of the blue.
Looking fwd to your comment in my blog: http://purenumerology.net
John Ho
Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personalities for Better Influence & Persuasion (WordPress)
Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personalities for Better Influence & Persuasion (Vox Blog)
Hey Anthony,
Don’t know what happens to my comment made, it simply do NOT show up. When I post it again, it says it’s a duplicate copy. But the point is: the original post never shows up here.
Ok, it’s better to re-write it.
You’ve a great post here! You look like talking like me
Free Will & Destiny is a favorite subject of mine.
We use our free will to create our destiny. Over time & across different life times, we forget what we’d done and wonder why things happen out of the blue.
Anthony, please put my blog in your Google Reader now:
http://purenumerology.net/
Thank You!
John Ho
Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personalities for Better Influence & Persuasion (WordPress)
Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personalities for Better Influence & Persuasion (Vox Blog)
Hi Anthony,
Testing again to see whether my comment made here will show up this time.
Pls read my comment made on “no show” symptom @ Kevin’s Vox blog.
If this time my comment comes up, I presume everything will be fine from now on.
John Ho
Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personalities for Better Influence & Persuasion (WordPress)
Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personalities for Better Influence & Persuasion (Vox Blog)
GREAT point – “if you want to make progress, you must get to the question of HOW. Einstein may have started out asking “why”, but to formulate the Theory of Relativity, and to present it to the world, he eventually had to ask “how” questions.”
Interesting read!
Pam
Great Minds, Great Wealth: How to Raise your Return, Reduce your Risk, Cut your Cost
Indeed! as a dating and relationship coach, every time someone applies to become a client and invest in coaching with me, I ask them WHY they want to, what are they looking for?
Best regards,
April Braswell
Dating Expert and Online Dating Coach
Great post!
Looking forward to more!!
Thanks
JC JC
Anthony,
I apologize for being late to pick up your blog. I will be commenting on your blog every day for, at a minimum, the remainder of this course.
Regarding today’s post, wow! It was a great, highly motivational post. The lesson of taking responsibility for one’s life is a necessary one if we are to progress from where we are to a different plane of living. I look forward to your next post.
Health, Fitness, Success — Darryl Pace